Buy Mack's Earplugs

I was looking at new apps for my iPhone this morning and saw that there was Decibel Reader available for my phone. Seeing this, I thought to myself; with going to shows a lot, and me, still, unsure if the sound level I use to listen to music was dangerous for my ears; I should probably get this. So I bought the app and went about reading Db output for everything from my car stereo to my voice.

While this was really nifty, after looking online, I found that the sound levels for my car were somewhat high, and could be hazardous to my long term earing. So I turned down my stereo, and started to be more careful about how loud the music was. And another thing I realized from the numbers, was how crazy loud the shows I go to, really were. So back to the Internet; there, I found this great site explaining concert earplugs and how the different styles effect the Db level at differing sound frequencies.

With me informed, I had finally found a style of earplugs that would evenly “turn down” the sound level at all frequencies, without spending a lot of money on a custom fitted earplug. I went looking to see if I could possibly find them in a local store, so I didn't have to wait for them to come in. They didn't need to be perfect, but I still would like to have my hearing at 40! So just by chance, I wondered what stores I would get if I simply searched for “Earplugs”. To my great surprise, I found three stores locally! To make it even better, a couple were just a little bit out on my way when I go to school!

So I called the first shop, and I got the voice mail. It told me that if you were a commercial buyer contact so and so, and if you were an average costumer, use their online store. So I moved onto the next one.

The second and third, were both Mack's Earplugs locations. When I called the closer of the two locations, I got an actual person. I asked the woman if they sold musician's earplugs, she said yes! She then went on about how great the earplugs are, and how they have patents on the technology, blah blah blah. But I was so happy! To think I will have finally have my earplugs! Then I asked what the earplugs are graded at. She said that she didn't know but if I was curious about more information about the earplugs you can visit the website. I said thanks and hung up.

I went to their site, and the earplugs were exactly what I need. And just like that, I was off to Royal Oak to pick up my new earplugs!

I am now just a mile away from the store but it seems to be behind this very nice subdivision. Beautiful and huge houses on both sides of me, with neatly groomed lawns. Knowing the area, these houses must have been at least $500 grand each, even in this market. While I thought this was weird, I knew that some neighborhoods have corner shops very close to them, maybe this was just like that, but with an earplug shop...

Now I am on the road the shop is on, houses still on both sides of me. I look at the address and each of the houses numbers. I passed it. I went around again. I passed it again! So after I had already properly scared the neighbors into thinking that I am a stalker or something, I found my address.

I pulled into the large, rectangular, white house. I checked the address again, even though I had been looking at it for the past 5 minutes. Yup this is it. I parked the car on the concrete drive way and ponder if I will knock on the door or not. Before I can decide, two girls look through the glass exterior door and start staring right at me. I decided that if I have come this far, I might as well see if they run the small business from their house or something. So I lower head and opened the door. The girls run away, and I start one of the longest 15 foot walks I have ever taken. By the time I actually got to the door, the girls' mother was already there.

I said, “I am very sorry but is this Mack's Earplugs? My GPS has lead me here.” “Oh, yes! My husband runs Mack's Earplugs!” she says somewhat relieved but still very confused.

I took a breath of relief, but I was still unsure what was going on. She left, and said that she would call up her husband. She let me into the house and goes to fetch the phone. Her kids are still by the door, I am sure they were wondering who this strange man was.

She finally gets the phone. She is so nervous that she accidentally hits the wrong speed dial number and calls one of her friends. She apologizes, and calls her husband. She finally gets a hold of her husband, the CEO of McKeon Products and Mack's Earplugs. While I couldn't hear her, I am would guess she basically told him that there is a strange college student aged boy, at the house, looking for earplugs. And now the entire company of Mack's Earplugs is at Defcon 1, I am sure with non ear-damaging sirens.

She listens to what he says and shouts at me, “What type of earplugs do you want?” I respond saying that I am looking for the High fidelity ones. She then runs downstairs to the basement. Kids still with me, I think to myself, at least she doesn't view me as any sort of threat. She comes back up with sleeping earplugs. I take them, look at them, and I look at her. She says that she personally uses these type of plugs when sleeping and tells me that I can buy these at any CVS Pharmacy. At this point, while I am impressed by this company's One on One advertising, I told her that these are sadly not exactly what I am looking for. I reworded myself and asked if she has Musician's earplugs. She nods, takes the plugs and runs back to the basement.

Then, out of nowhere, a girl starts telling the other that the bus is just outside. At this point I realize that there are streamers all around the house and Happy Birthday is written everywhere. A kid, not knowing which one, is trying to celebrate being another year older and an odd man is ruining their time. My mind races, there are more kids are getting off the bus, looking to party and they will find no one but a strange man standing by the door with their mother gone...

Thank God, that their mother came up the steps before they got to the door.

She hands me a second type of earplug, also not what I needed. I again, apologize, now feeling bad for turning down these earplugs, but I was looking for something specific. I asked if she has the High Fidelity earplugs, while explaining the technical differences between the plugs. She sits the kids down at the table and cuts them all apples. (Wow, now that is a healthy family!) With the phone still glued to her head, she heads down to the basement for the third time. She is quick to come back and tells the person on the other line, that she doesn't have the earplugs here, she then repeats herself to tell me this. She then tells me that they can ship the Musician's earplugs, free of charge. She tells me that her husband has the firm belief that if anyone has went to such trouble to get earplugs they would be happy to just give them a pair. I think to myself how that is such an odd business strategy, but take them up on the offer. She begins to ask me for an address, corrects herself, hands me the phone, and goes to take care of the kids.

The other person on the line is the exact same person I talked to when I first called! I stutter, and said, “Didn't I call you earlier” she says yes, and that they are going to send me a free pair of earplugs for the hassle I have gone through. (I love these guys!) I start thinking about what is going on though, and ask if I could possibly just pick up the earplugs on site, thinking that the other location on Google is the shop. She said, “Absolutely! But don't you need directions?” I proudly respond, “I don't need directions, I have the iPhone!”, at this point, Steve Jobs jumped through the window, hugs me and gets back on his million dollar helicopter; and continues his mission of hugging people who pimp out his products. (Alright, I, obviously, made that up but this has still been a very odd day) And after I got back from my fantasy, she said that would be fine and that she looked forward to seeing me.

I gave the phone back to the woman, and told her that it is all set and thanked her for everything. She tells me that it is fine, and again, explains how giving me the earplugs is part of the Bigger Plan. I thank her one last time and finally leave the house.

I get in the car and sit there, for a minute, replaying the last 15 minutes over and over again, trying to figure exactly what just fucking happened! I eventually pick up my phone to get me to the other Mack's Earplug location.

Now I am in the manufacturing district of Warren. And while I am really digging the change of themes here, I guess the other location on Google was their office building. I, again, for the second time today, pulled into a building that has nothing labeling it as to what it was, just an address that my phone told me was right.

I cautiously walk into the office building but was quickly greeted by an older secretary. I think to myself that at least I can be right for once today! “Josh! You must be Josh right?” I respond, confirming for her. She grabs the earplugs on her desk, handing them to me, saying these are mine. I take the High Fidelity, Musician's earplugs. I look at them, and I am so happy that they are exactly what I needed. She then asked me what happened. I tell her the whole story about how I was just looking for earplugs and searched on Google and got these two locations for Mack's Earplugs. She listened attentively and when I finished she said that they would need to fix that obviously. I agreed and thanked them one more time. I left with free earplugs and a smile, telling them that I would tell everyone to buy Mack's Earplugs, available at your local CVS Pharmacy.